Monday, September 10, 2012

A lot can change

For those of you back at home who keep up with me this way, I am sorry I've been a light poster lately!  A lot has been going on, but I've been so busy with this and that (and a lot of How I Met Your Mother episodes) that I haven't been posting much, other than trying unsuccessfully to get my parents' visit all documented.  I'll get that 8th day out soon, I promise.  It's the DMZ day, so I've got a lot of notes (of course I do; history-nerding-it-up is one of my specialties) that I want to include, and that takes time, so rather than just bust it out, I have been procrastinating.  That's another one of my specialties.

I would like to post just a few thoughts, since I haven't done much of that lately.  One thing never ceases to surprise me is how much can change in such a short amount of time.  I have been doing a lot of thinking since hitting the 6-month mark last month and God has just been impressing me more and more with what He is doing in my life.  The blessings that I encounter... the perspective that changes... the things that used to be so important that aren't as much any more... the things that are important now that never really were important back then...

...not to mention the fact that I bought beige floor mats and now look at a sedan and think, "that's a nice, reasonable car" in the world??  Is this what maturity looks like?  But it's true.  A lot can change in a girl's life in a few short months.

I look around at my life and I wonder... how am I ever going to be the same after this?  Do I want to be the same?  (The answer is a really loud, resounding "NO.")

Isn't that why I crave adventure?

Isn't that why I get antsy if I haven't traveled somewhere new in a year?

Underneath it all, isn't that the reason I wanted to live overseas for a time?

And who would I be right now if... if nearly seven months ago I hadn't gotten on a plane (freaked out with thoughts of "WHAT HAVE I DONE," mind you) and braved the unknown, who would I be if I hadn't chucked my fear out the door?

I don't want to be the same, and I am not the same.

A lot can change, and a lot of wonderful things can happen if you just give them a chance.  Change is frightening.  I've certainly had my moments here when I've been frustrated and cranky and tired of teaching kinders and miss high school students and just wanted my mom to hug and a good party with the family to unwind.  But those are getting fewer and farther between.  And then there are long moments like this weekend, when all is right in the world.  Those moments are getting more and more frequent.  When I can't imagine ever going back to who I was before I moved to Korea.  That's something that takes my breath away and leaves me in awe of a Creator who had this plan for me before I even began to think of moving to South Korea.  I am who He is creating me to be.  I am an ever-changing person. I serve a never-changing God.

I'm not saying that I'll never have a bad day in Korea ever again.  I'm not saying that the only time I've ever wondered "WHAT HAVE I DONE?" was when I was sitting on that plane.  I am saying that I love this country.  I am falling more and more in love with it.  The thought of leaving it soon (because five and a half months is soon) hits me in the chest and I don't like it.  I am saying that I'm not done living overseas.  That's all I'm saying for now.

**Edited to add** Not even kidding, at the very moment I was posting this, a friend affirmed me with this thought:  

"But I know you'll be happy wherever God leads you because being in His will is better than a Texas sunset or the Korean cherry blossoms in spring."

And ain't that the truth?  Peace to you all today, friends.  

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