So today I made all the boys in one of my conversation classes talk to all the girls in a role play conversation.
Talk to girls?
You would have thought I told them to eat live ants.
Of course, the conversation I had them practicing was, well, gonna leave them with bruised egos. Bless their hearts.
Meet Anthony and Ana:
Poor Anthony. He's trying so hard and Ana's just shutting him down.
(Of course I thought this was GREAT FUN to watch as the teacher -- schadenfreude and all that :):):))
I had a reason though, to let the boys get rejected 4 times in a row by the girls.
I explained to the boys, once they had finished the activity, that they had just had a great lesson. In the role play, Girl SHUT HIM DOWN, but Boy was persistent.
It's not you, it's me...
Just like anything in life, practice makes you better.
Want your dream job? Interview for a bunch of jobs you don't love. You'll get a lot of experience talking to potential employers (and yes, getting rejected by them) and you won't be totally unprepared when you land an interview for a job you'd really really love to have. Valuable practice.
Want to get over your fear of asking girls out? Practice asking girls out because your crazy English teacher told you to.* You'll get practice hearing "no" and it won't hurt so much or be so hard to hear the next time.
Men, you will probably be rejected by women that you're interested in. It happens. Women feel rejected when men don't ask us out. It happens. Move on.
Rejection is part of growing. We're not always going to get what we want.
My 19-year-old boys got a lot of practice getting rejected by women today. They (sorta) asked a girl out 4 times (in English, no less) and heard a lot of "no." But you know what? Maybe the 5th time they ask, they'll be asking someone they really would like to take to dinner, and maybe that girl will say yes. And isn't that worth it?
Men, I want you to know that it's ok to hear "no." Just ask. Try.
Ladies, I want you to know that men are more sensitive than we give them credit for. This year, I've been learning a lot about what it means to love brothers well. We don't even notice some of the ways that we hurt them or shut them down. I'm not saying you should go on a date with someone that you're not interested in, but be gentle. Most of them have beautiful souls and good intentions. And maybe we should practice encouraging those we are interested in.
I know rejection is scary. Fear of rejection can paralyze us. Don't let it. Women, respect the courage it takes for a man to ask you out. Men, be courageous. We want to see strong men out there. Fear of rejection might be hard to overcome, but isn't it worth it?
A side note to Anthony: Hon, it sounds like she's just not into you. Bless your heart. Maybe next time. (In the meantime, read Pride & Prejudice and take notes from Mr. Darcy.)
*Note: Practice asking girls out even if you don't have a crazy English teacher telling you what to do in class. And know that when I say "practice asking girls out," please be intentional - don't you dare go breaking hearts for practice. DO NOT play with a girl's feelings. It's not nice. I will punch you.
**Please don't take the wrong lesson away from this
Stalking is not ok. Don't be persistent in a creepy way. If you tried and tried again, back off for a while. Maybe try again in 6 months, not 6 days. I do know married couples who have a "he asked her out 100 times before she finally said yes" story, but those men were tactful in their approach. DON'T BE A CREEPER.