Today's installment is the last post for Florida Class's "we're villains but we're not that bad" script. In case you missed them, here are Installment #1 and Installment #2.
Today you'll meet Captain Hook (from Peter Pan) and Hare (from The Tortoise and the Hare), the Giant (from Jack and the Beanstalk) and the Evil Step-Mother (from Cinderella).
These two sections have some of my favorite lines from the skit (though I could probably say that about most of the villains' plots). I love puns and fairy tales, so getting a chance to make puns about fairy tale villains was a lot of fun! Just putting scenarios out there, like Hare running the "Race for the Cure Marathon, sponsored by Aesop's Publishing Company" -- the kids don't get those references at all, but I crack up when I hear little, wiry Alice spouting off that little bit of wit. She's such a character that it doesn't matter if she understands the joke or not, she delivers it well! (I'm not even sure if my co-teacher catches all of them, but they make my heart happy!)
Anna helped out again with Hook's predicament. I had trouble figuring out a way for him to be less evil. I mean, he's a creepy old man on a ship surrounded by little boys... then Anna came up with the idea that Peter was stealing the treasure cause it sparkles, so we ran with that.
Hook (Peter Pan) and Hare (The Tortoise and the Hare) [Benjamin and Alice]
Hook – That is too bad for Rumpelstiltskin. If he wanted a puppy, he should go to a pet shop.
Hare – You’re right. There are easier ways to get a dog!
Hook – How are you? I heard that you ran a big marathon last weekend.
Hare – Yes! It was the Forest Animals Race For The Cure Marathon, sponsored by Aesop’s Publishing Company. It was for a race to raise money for charity!
Hook – Did you win?
Hare – No, I was in first place for most of the race, but I felt bad. I am naturally very fast, so running is very easy for me. I felt bad for the tortoise, though. He is very slow. He never wins races. I decided to take a rest at the last water stop to give him a chance to catch up.
Hook – That was very nice of you!
Hare – Thank you! I do my best to be a nice girl. Not everyone can be as good at running as me. I have a lot of energy. It felt good to let the Tortoise win, just once. He looked so happy holding up that trophy. Anyway, how are things in Neverland?
Hook – Oh, do you remember that boy I told you about?
Hare – You mean Peter?
Hook – Yes, that’s him. Peter Pan. He is such a horrible child! He stole my favorite treasure chest. What is a good pirate without his treasure box? Peter Pan and those other little lost boys came sneaking around my ship and took my box! Little children like things that sparkle, so I’m sure it was tempting, but it does not belong to them! I have to find a way to get it back. It has my spare hooks in it!
Hare – How rude! I hope you get your treasure chest and your hooks back!
The Giant is played by Luis, the biggest kid in the class. He is HILARIOUS. He's really awkward and he fidgets a lot, and somehow that combination is PERFECT for this part. When he shouts "Fee Fi Fo Fum!" I just about die laughing.
Ruby does a great job with her part as well, playing the misunderstood step mother who just wants to get to know Cinderella. What better way to bond than over new shoes?
Giant (Jack and the Beanstalk) and Step Mother (Cinderella) [Luis and Ruby]
Step Mother – Giant, why do you look so upset?
Giant – My house was robbed! I was up there at the top of the beanstalk, eating breakfast in the kitchen and minding my own business when this kid runs in! He scared me half to death! I shouted, “FEE FI FO FUM!” to try to scare him off, but before he ran away, he stole my pet goose, my favorite magical harp, and a bunch of gold! Can you believe that?
Step Mother – Oh my goodness!
Giant – I tried to follow him to get my things back, but his mother helped him escape. What a pair of criminals!
Step Mother – Sounds like you’ve had a hard day.
Giant – I have. How was your day?
Step Mother – Well, my spoiled step daughter is at it again. I try and try to be nice to her, but she won’t let me get to know her! She just stays up in the attic all day with those mice and those birds and refuses to come downstairs. Last night, Drizella and Anastasia and I went to a ball at the castle and we invited her to come with us in the carriage but she wouldn’t join us. Then later we saw her at the party! How rude! I don’t know how she got there after we left the house. I’m just glad she left early. I just don’t know what to do with her! Maybe we can go shoe shopping together next weekend.
Giant – That sounds nice. I heard that she lost a shoe at the party. She probably needs a new one!
I hope y'all have enjoyed these selections! I had a lot of fun writing them. I'll reiterate my spiel from the first post that if you'd like to borrow them, just ask! I'm more than happy to grant permission for you or someone you know to use my ideas, but I'd just like to know about it!
Like any good fable, the last nugget gives The Moral of the Story, and Florida Class's skit is no exception:
So you see, we are called the villains, but now that you’ve heard our sides of the stories, you can decide for yourself. Are we really that bad? Remember: there are always two sides to every story!
(Stay tuned for Libra Class's script excerpts! They'll hit the blog later this week, if I've got time to post them! I've got a LOT going on the next few weeks... eesh!!)