Many are the plans.

Longish post.  Fair warning.  But I suppose it's time I post a bit about what's going on in my head and life lately.  I've given the main idea it's own heading, but know if you cheat and skip ahead, you're missing some blogging gold. ;)

Before I moved over here, I'd post more about day-to-day, normal what's-going-on-in-my-head stuff.  I even tag-lined my old blog something like "the complicated infrastructure known as this female mind" as a call-out from (or tribute to) the Relient K song, Mood Rings.  

But then I moved to Korea and I get a heck of a lot more blog traffic because I have an expat's blog now, instead of just a run-of-the-mill blog by some girl who lived in College Station/Conroe/Houston.  Now don't get me wrong, I like the extra attention (hello, welcome to my life), but I don't know how some bloggers post SO MANY DETAILS about their personal lives.  I don't want to be that person... especially since anyone can google "soju bottle korea" and find my blog.  Do I want that soju stalker knowing tons of my personal details? Not so much.  All that means I keep things a little closer to the vest on the blogosphere.  (And if you think I share a lot on here, just imagine the sparkling conversation going on in my head that *doesn't* get posted.  It's rapid fire up in here, I tell ya!)  It's much easier to post random English, or funny stories about adventures, or silly things my students do than it is to honestly dig through my thoughts and process them on a public webpage. 

On the flip side, I want to be able to honestly document my experience over here, both for friends and family at home and for posterity's sake.  AND I guess for the folks who read up on expats' blogs before they move overseas.  A couple of my new coworkers have told me that they read my blog before they moved over here... HOLY SMOKES, I'M A CELEBRITY!!!  

On with the update...

Several months ago, I started to think about going home.  For a few weeks after my parents left, all I could think about was going out for Mexican food with the family, driving through Sonic for a giant Diet Dr. Pepper with 10 cherries, walking through Target for 4 hours, and going to get a pedicure with my mom.  Going home was a pretty nice idea in my head until right around the seven month mark.  I started to think, "but... oh wow... I only have five and a half months left in Korea! There's so much I want to do still!  I didn't get to go to this festival or that! And how beautiful was spring?? Wouldn't it be nice to see that again?  I feel like I just figured out HOW to be a good expat; I actually know how to get around and read hangul and ... oh my ... I don't want to go home in five months." 

And that kinda was an awesome thought.  I always loved traveling, but I always figured that ONE year LIVING abroad would be plenty.  I love home so much; how could I possibly want to stay away longer than a year?

And then I moved here.  And I lived here.  And I made friends here.  And slowly, my paradigm began to change.  I started to wonder...

How could I want to go back to normal after living like this?  

And right about that time, I posted this and kept pondering what was going on in my thought life.

There are so many things about life over here that are just... cooler than at home.  More adventurous and crazy.  Unusual ... It's like life refuses to be ordinary.

For example, over here, we talk about vacation plans in international terms.  "Yeah I have two weeks off at such-and-such.  You went to Thailand last summer, right?  Should I go there or to India? Oh yeah?  Where did you stay when you went to Japan?  What was that about Singapore?  Yeah, the Chinese visa process is a pain in the ask.  Blah blah blah Malaysia." It's neat beyond neat.

Over here, most my close friends aren't even from my own country.  And I flippin' love that.  Everyone's got really cool accents.  I'm getting cultural exchange that isn't at all what I expected!  I knew I'd learn about Korea, and I'm so blessed to have some great Korean friends.  What I didn't know is that I'd pick up terms from a New Zealander like, "Are you keen for dinner?" "Oh I can shout you for that, just pay me back later."  When I thought about moving to Asia, I definitely didn't expect to talk South African history and American politics over a glass (or two) of South African wine (and then go frolic in the snow) in Korea.  For real?  This is my life?

My job is great, my church is awesome, my friends are beautiful souls.  My weekends consistently make me so happy that I suffer a happiness hangover (that has nothing to do with alcohol) on Monday mornings.

Life refuses to be ordinary.  Right now, I am LOVING that.  Who needs ordinary yet?  Or ever?


... THE MAIN IDEA ...

So I guess I can let y'all know that I'm planning to stay in Korea another year.  If God wills it, I'd like a job teaching older students next year.  I love my kinders, but the first three months were ROUGH and I really miss teaching older students.  I'd also like the chance to go home for a vacation in the next several months, and I'd especially like to go home for Christmas NEXT year, neither of which could I do at my current position.

Right now, I'm in the process of applying for university jobs around the country.  Because I have an M.Ed and a couple years experience now, it looks like I could really get a uni job.  Imagine that!  Zara Perciful, University English Instructor.  Sounds cool, right??  If you're the praying type, I'd really appreciate prayers on that count.  I would love to stay in Gwangju, where I've got a beautiful community established.  But, you know as well as I do, God has a plan that is entirely HIS own.  He wanted me here this year; He might not want me here next year.  He's never, ever, been wrong.  The past couple of weeks have been chock-full of God-has-a-plan-so-trust-in-Him references. Coincidences like that don't just happen.  I'm talking every. time. I. turned. around, someone would say something along those lines, then at small group what was the topic? And then we found a comedian on youtube who reminded us of... and that blog that I read had a post... and then the guest sermon at church... and then that other person mentioned... and then my daily reading was all like... and on and on and on.

Proverbs 19:21

Jeremiah 29:11

Habakuk 2:3

"God knows exactly what He will do.  He didn't carry Israel into exile without a plan to carry them back. The Lord's purpose will prevail." 

"Walk in the Spirit.  Be influenced by Heaven, not by Earth. Take captive every thought to Christ.  Work to be rightly ruled by Christ.  You are a child of God!"

"As if any of us will get to heaven and have God say, "You got it all right.  Every inch of who I am was perfectly understood by you while you were alive. That time in Isaiah 55 when I said, 'My thoughts are not your thoughts,' I meant that verse for everyone but you. You nailed it." --from SCL - (I love sarcasm and the gospel together)

...

So you see, I have no delusions that my plan is at all what will happen next year.  I have no idea what my life will look like in March, once my current contract is over.  Maybe I'll be on a plane back to Texas.  Maybe I'll be moving somewhere else in Korea.  Maybe I'll have the perfect job in Gwangju that I want, that I hope for right now.  Wherever I end up, it'll be good, so I'm at peace in that.

And that, dear readers, is what is going on in my life right now.
The end.

Just some thoughts in Month Three

I feel like I haven’t blogged much lately at all!  I’ve posted here and there, but not much about what I’ve been up to or how I’ve been feeling.  I’ve certainly been busy!  I’ve wanted to fill you all in on what’s been going on in my life, but for some reason when I sit down at my computer, I’m too tired to put thought to type. 

I hope y'all all understand.

Tonight I decided to do just that, put thoughts to type, and we’ll see what all comes out of this little brain...

I’ve been here 3, knocking on 4 months.  Just as expected, I’ve hit that point of culture shock where you start to get frustrated with your new culture.  Lucky for me, I’m generally a positive person, so it hasn’t been too bad.   I’ve dealt with some homesickness again, like I had my first couple of weeks. 

The normal homesickness was compounded a little by the arrival of my new niece, Zoey!  She’s a cutie patooty, dark brown hair and dark blue eyes!  I love skyping with her and the rest of the family.  I know I probably wouldn’t have been out to see her yet anyway, but it’s weird thinking that she’ll be 9 months old before we’re on the same continent.  How much she’ll grow between now and then!  I knew that when I signed up for this, of course, I considered the ages and changes in all my little nieces and nephews.  Ethan was 9 when I left, but he’ll be 10 when I get home.  Abby’s 5, but she’ll be 6.  Zander’s 2, but he’ll be 3.  Zoey wasn’t born, but will be 9 months when I get home.  It’s so wild to think about how much changes in a year!  Now, before some of you nay-sayers get to sayin’ “you can’t live your life for other people,” let me stop you.  I know that.  But their little lives are important *to* my life.  Everyone that’s heard me talk for more than 5 minutes knows that my family is very close!  Being involved in their lives improves my life, and I’d like to think that it’s a symbiotic relationship. 

I’ve heard some people mention how lame it is (paraphrasing a little, but that was the jist of it) to want to be near your family your whole life, but I think that’s a pretty narrow-minded world view.  Not everyone’s the same.  How boring would that be?  Some of us are wired to find joy in being near family.  Some aren’t, I get it.  But I love being close to my family, and I also happen to loooove world travel and adventure!  That’s a completely normal paradox, right??  I am all about getting out into the world and seeing what’s out there, but at the end of my time away, I’ll always want to be within good driving distance from the big-ole family gatherings.  Not everyone is made to be away from home forever.  I bet it’d be a lot easier to live overseas if the family were here!  That emotional support can be pretty spectacular.  It’s the simple joy of being near people who like you. 

On that note, this past week or two, I’ve found myself missing having roommates.  I have had some great roommates over the years.  Lately, I miss having someone live in the same space as me, to just be companionable.  I suck at living alone.  I miss sitting on the couch doing nothing with someone else... but I don’t necessarily miss having someone else to share a bathroom with or someone else to make dirty dishes that stay in the sink for days, like mine do! 

While I’m sitting here missing my family and friends and old roommates at home, I lean on my incredible support system of friends here.  I have the most amazing church at Wolgwang English Ministry!  I get to see them on Sundays for worship and cell groups, and every other week we have a midweek gathering, plus social events here and there (at least once a month).  What a blessing!  God has been so good.  As it is His nature to be :) When I miss church on Sunday cause I’ve been traveling, I’ve noticed that my grumpy pants show up more.  I feel off-centered without the fellowship and community of other believers.  It’s a result of the amazingness of the Holy Spirit!  Having a good church is like having family overseas.  They’re there for you, they uplift you, love you, call you out when you’re being an idiot, spent time with you, support you.  WEM builds up the Body of Christ and leads the congregation to strengthen our faith.  I’m so glad Marisa dragged me along to Wolgwang back in February!  It’s made such a difference in my life here.  

If you're praying for me, could you pray that I get over the hump of culture shock quickly?  I don't like feeling apathetic or frustrated with my place.   Could you also pray that I catch up on my devo reading?  I'm perpetually 10 days behind... I'd love to actually read the day's reading on the day it is, not a couple of weeks later.  Could you also pray that I get into a routine that has more purpose behind it?  I struggle with waking up on time and arriving places on time, and I bet part of that comes from lacking a clear purpose.  I'm not over here to just live my life as extended playtime.  I'm here for a reason.  I need to remember that!  

Thanks y'all.  Keep up the support... and show me some attention in the comments section! 

Cleaning house

I moved into my apartment yesterday!  It is small, like I expected, but I love it.  It's got mainly neutral wall paper and a pop of bright pink flowers on one wall, by the bed.  The school provides bedding and the director took me yesterday to get it... it's got lots of color blocks in bright pink, light pink, normal pink, and magenta.  I like pink, don't get me wrong, but I would never have expected to have SUCH pink bedding.  It works though, and it was free, so I choose to be happy with it :)

I've been cleaning a TON last night and today.  The person who lived in this one before me is a guy, and though he says he cleaned it and it looks 'so much better' than it did when he moved in, it grosses me out.  Mayyybe I'm a little OCD but you all know who my mother is, and she taught me to have a clean house and especially, *especially* a clean kitchen, so, there.  I spent a few hours cleaning the bathroom yesterday and a few hours cleaning the kitchenette this morning and I'm not even close to done.  I'm going to re-bleach the bathroom later and finish cleaning the kitchen.  The stove has a greasy layer on it that I haven't even begun to tackle.  Challenge accepted, grime! 

I just took my second trip to the store to buy more cleaning supplies.  To get to the store from my place, I go down the hill, across the street, through an apartment complex, down some stairs, across another street, and one block to the right (to grandmother's house we go?).  Then when I'm done shopping, I carry everything I buy back with me the whole up, up the stairs, through the complex, across the street, up the hill, and then up 2 flights of stairs.  I can handle about 3 bags at a time by myself :)  I think that's quite an accomplishment!  I looked ridiculous today carrying a swiffer with its long handle and big containers of bottled water up that hike! 

Today while I was at the store, a store clerk seemed to want to help me with my list, so I showed her that I was just looking at the detergent.  She was very interested in my English scribble (since it was just a shopping list and I have terrible handwriting, it's not the greatest sample of English writing for her to read), and she wouldn't give me my list back til she had read everything on it!  It was strange.  I like to browse a lot when I'm in a new area, get the feel for the store, figure out what exactly I want to buy, change my mind several times and backtrack to put stuff back or pick up stuff I initially passed on.  She didn't seem to understand why I didn't have some things on my list in my basket.  I couldn't quite explain that I wouldn't have room in my bags for everything on my list, so I was prioritizing, and that I was looking at the laundry detergent to see if I recognized brands, so that when I come back another time, I will have more of an idea of what I want to buy, since I can't carry it with me today.  She finally gave me my shopping list back and I quickly scadoodled over to the toilet brushes and then checked out and made my way home. 

Oh, Korea.  I don't know if they always watch people while they walk around the grocery store of if it's just cause I'm a foreigner and they aren't used to the way I look.  I feel eyes on me everywhere!  I'm sure I'll get used to it, but it's strange.  I really feel like I'm here now, though, instead of just feeling like I'm visiting.  So that's good. 

If you're praying for me, could you continue prayers that I adjust well?  I'm starting to feel pretty lonely without my support system that I have at home.  I have been so blessed with such a close family, emotionally and geographically, and it's so strange to be so far away.  I know that the solid groups of people that I had in College Station and Cy-Fair took years to build; they didn't form overnight.  I remember feeling lonely when I was a freshman at A&M, too, away from home for the first time, before I formed those bonds with girls in the dorm and before I joined my church.  It's a similar feeling to what I'm experiencing now.  My faith is a lot stronger now than it was 7 years ago, but I'm also a lot farther away from home than I was then.  I like the other foreign teachers but I've only known them for, like, 5 days, so it doesn't compare to the incredible friends I've known so long at home.  Pray that I continue to depend on the Lord when I get frustrated or lonely.  Pray that I find restaurants that I grow to love, nearby, that understand my pathetic attempts to order in Korean.  Pray that I clean that kitchen and can start making my own food in it!  Pray that I learn the hangul alphabet so that I can read signs in Korean.  That's my prayer list right now :) 

I'm going to go to Seoul on Saturday to do a little sight-seeing!  I promise to take lots of pictures.  Bye for now!